I have been practising zazen for a few months already, I dabbled in samatha meditation for about a month two years ago but stopped due to poor discipline, and have felt drawn to Soto Zen Buddhism as a result. I am surprised that I am still sitting every day.
I have no access to a Zen sangha or zendo because first, there are only a few zendos in Singapore and second, many of them are conducted in Mandarin. I know this may appear strange to many of you but despite my Han-Chinese ancestry and name, my native language is English and am more comfortable with learning a new thing in English than Mandarin.
Besides, the dominant form of Buddhism that is practised in Singapore is first, Pureland, and second, Theravada. Zen in general is not very much practised here. Even then, the Buddhism of the populace is mixed with local Chinese folk religion that has devotees burning hell money for the dead, giving offerings to tree spirits, praying to Guan'yin (Kannon) for lottery winnings, etc. I think that such is the case with grassroots Buddhism in the Far East whereas the forms that are practised by Westerners seem to be more pristine.
I am also a baptised Protestant who has been brought up in a conservative fundamentalist home; my spiritual journey thus far has been difficult and I see myself as a recovering fundamentalist.
Most if not all churches in Singapore are conservative evangelical, and the one I am currently attending with my wife and children is no exception. My pastors and church friends have a dim view of meditation and while I have never admitted to them that I am practising zazen, I have mentioned about meditation in general to them and they claim categorically that it is dangerous because it allows demonic spirits to gain a foothold. My wife do not mind the sitting but never the Buddhist doctrines: she is a Christian convert from folk Buddhism.
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