Buddhist Insight Meditation - Living Forward, Understanding Backward

"There are essentially two kinds of mistakes: blameworthy mistakes--the ones where you knew better but you went ahead and did it anyhow--and mistakes that are blameless, because you didn't know. When you don't know, you try to figure it out and then act on what you think is your best intention, what seems most likely to lead to happiness and least likely to lead to harm. Now, if you notice that, as you're following through with the action, it does actually lead to harm, you stop. You're not committed to continuing with a mistake. If you don't see any harm coming from the action, carry through with it. When it's done, reflect back on what the actual results were.

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If you see that it led to any unintended harm, you make the resolve not to repeat that mistake and talk it over with someone else who is further along on the path, to see what insights they have to offer. If, however, you see that there was no harm at all, take joy in the fact that you're on the path and training yourself well. Then keep up with the training. 

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So, on the one hand, you try to prevent the repeat of past mistakes, but at the same time you realize there is the possibility that you're going to make further mistakes in the future, because there are lots of conditions, lots of situations that you really can't foresee, in which case you try to go with your own skillful intentions as much as you can. is is another reason why we meditate: to strengthen the skillful intentions in the mind, the intentions that are not wound up in greed, aversion, or delusion. Greed and aversion are fairly easy to see. Delusion is hard--because after all, when you're deluded, you don't know you're deluded. You don't really know the truth. The only way around that is to keep your past mistakes in mind and to learn from them. 

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So a large part of the practice is learning how to take mistakes in stride. The Buddha says you should feel shame over your mistakes, but not the kind of shame where you feel you're a horrible person. He advises healthy shame: the shame where you realize you did something that was beneath you, that was not appropriate for you. You don't want to repeat that mistake. This kind of shame is a facet of healthy pride. It's not debilitating. 

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The Buddha teaches the same attitude around issues of remorse. You realize you've made mistakes in the past. He doesn't have you dwell on them beyond just recognizing that they were mistakes. You remind yourself that however guilty you may feel about the mistake, the sense of guilt is not going to go back and erase the mistake. The best you can do is to resolve not to repeat it. If you dwell on the guilt, it'll sap your resolve.

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So, instead, you try to strengthen skillful qualities in the mind--in particular, the attitudes...unlimited goodwill, unlimited compassion, unlimited empathetic joy, unlimited equanimity. In other words, put yourself in a position where you can maintain these attitudes toward anybody at any time, whenever appropriate. Don't let these attitudes be limited by your likes and dislikes..."

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Thanissaro Bhikkhu

Excerpt from "Living Forward, Understanding Backward"